After the morning email from Cecil, The Boss was even more convinced that something wasn’t quite right. There was no way that his beloved stapler would act with such hubris, apathetic to The Boss’ pleas for his safe and immediate return! “Cecil is NOT a narcissist!” The Boss exclaimed to all within earshot. Unfortunately for The Boss, an early afternoon
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The warning from The Boss didn’t seem to faze anyone, least of all Cecil. Whispers of Cecil sightings were rampant, but The Boss refused to consider the possibility that his beloved stapler had gone rogue. Those denials were even less plausible on Tuesday morning when Cecil sent an email containing the first issue of “The Swingline Chronicles.” Cecil appears to be taking himself a little
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From: The Boss Subject: Cecil B. Swingline To: D. Messwith McStapler Esquire FYI. In need of some stapler-napping assistance. From: D. Messwith McStapler Esquire To: The Staff, The Building Manager, The HR Manager cc: The Boss To whom it may concern: We are aware of your staple-napping and are not impressed at your attempts to mask this haneous crime with
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Let’s just say that The Boss was less than pleased with not the disappearance of his beloved stapler, Cecil. He was also very aggravated over what he believed to be a theft or kidnapping rather than a run-away stapler. He could be heard pacing and ranting, ranting and pacing in his office all morning. It got worse when a new message arrived
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A number of emails flew after The Boss’ admission that his beloved stapler was missing. Multiple attempts to make light of the situation were not well received. It was very clear that The Boss was less than pleased with the disappearance of his favorite office supply. Not too long after we received the email from The Boss about his missing stapler, a
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And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the

