Do you view following as a commitment and unfollowing like a broken promise — or worse — a divorce?  Do you watch your follower count and immediately unfollow anyone who has unfollowed you as if to say, “AHA! You don’t deserve to have me as a follower when you don’t follow me!”

What does following mean to you?

Most of us have had it happen.  Someone you converse with on a regular or fairly regular basis – you might even consider this person a friend – stops following you.  Maybe you tried to send a DM and couldn’t.  Or maybe you’re obsessive-compulsive frantic and oh-so-devastated over the loss of even one spam or pr0n bot follower and endlessly review your follower count, your follow-to-followed ratio and your follower growth metrics.

One…One Thousand…One Meellyun? Meh.

I don’t fret over my follower count.  I routinely clear out spammers and other questionable accounts as well as unfollow random tweeps whose conversations I really don’t want associated with me.   I’m sure that’s snobbish to some.  I’m not a Twitter Saint by any means.  But if you’re tweeting about how much pipe you laid last weekend while you were drinking like an Amish junior college freshman, straight off the farm and very curious about life in the big city, pretty much, there’s not a commonality there that I want to explore.

If that description fits you – first – wow. I might want to meet you – just for research purposes – under some very secure circumstances.  Second, unfollowing you is not a judgment of you, your lifestyle or your value as a human being.

The people I follow add value to my Twitstream for professional and personal reasons.  They are peers, mentors, role models, industry leaders, amusing and engaging people I just can’t live without.  Most of the people I follow also follow me and I converse with them on a regular basis. Of the handful who are not following me, I have conversations with some of them on occasion.  All of these folks I follow so that I can glean knowledge and understanding from their expertise and experience.  It’s a priceless opportunity that I feel very fortunate to enjoy.

My twitter-style?  I do discuss some technical geeky things in my stream, but for the most part, Twitter is a way for me to make real connections, forge and extend relationships, and contribute to a wonderful microuniverse of my own design.  This means a good bit of my “conversation” is personal, odd commentary on what I see or what I’m doing.  I act as a resource or a commentator when asked.  Interactive. That’s me.

There are also a number of folks I don’t know who follow me.  I’m not sure why they follow me.  Some folks are more voyeuristic.  Or they are snooping for scandals.  <LOL>  If I am not following someone and they engage me – I do interact.  Once I get to know someone I will follow them if we share the daily things that add to my stream.  Again, this isn’t a judgment.  I still read other streams of folks who follow me that I don’t follow. I just don’t do it daily.

Be true to YOU

The fact that I am goofy, geeky, and for some a bit too chatty or offbeat has occasionally led to some folks unfollowing me.  I’m a flibberty gibbet and I get that some folks like it a bit quieter or perhaps don’t want to hear about #geeklove.  It’s all good, yo!  I still converse with those folks.  They just don’t see my occasionally pneumatic post frenzies.

As I mentioned before I don’t obsess about it, but sometimes I notice.  Like today.

Twitter is being a bad little beastie with OAUTH and API issue galore.  The frequency and duration of the pain we all feel has increased signficantly since The Day That Twitter Died.  There have been all sorts of odd happenings including changes in message counts and follower counts, delays in tweet updates in the public stream and the ever-disappearing trending topics (that aren’t actually true trends since Twitter has filters on them but that’s a whole ‘nutha can ‘o tabacky!)

Today Twitter was PMSing again and behaving quite frightfully at times.  As a result I was on the lookout for oddities.   After noticing a random decrease of 4 followers I went on a quest for information.  Nothing.  Hmm. Curiosity peaked as I continued on my journey to discover who unfollowed me.  It turned out that there may have been some suspicious accounts removed, but there was one…one unfollower…who was a real person.

** GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH NOES!!!!

I may have to cry now because I am diminished by this injurious action! < /sarcasm>

Yes, I’m being silly.  I’m working on a 2 day sleep-deficit and I’m giddy.  But in all seriousness, this  unfollow caught me by surprise. It’s someone I really like, enjoy conversing with when he is in a tweeting mood, and not only did he unfollow me, he unfollowed @g33kguy!

I thought about it for a bit and grumbled to myself as I tried to figure out what egregious Twitter-Crime was committed by us that necessitated the removal of us from his Twitstream.  After wishing the pox on him (I jest) I thought, you know, we probably annoy the crap out of him.  Or we offended him.  Or, he only followed us in the first place because we goaded him into it (also in jest at the time).  I just wish he would have said, “Hey y’all yammer to much” or “Hey all this talk about love makes me heave” or “You guys aren’t worth my time”.  I totally respect that level of honesty and find it disheartening and frustrating when I don’t know why.  < /nosewrinkle>

Since I know you’ll ask – yes I have dropped off a few streams without explanation.  One posted such offensive content that I was concerned about hitting the filters at the office or having my kids walk up behind me and see it.   Another did something that designers and developers do not tolerate – they lifted an idea from us and used it as their own.  It’s not that the idea was unique.  It’s that there was never a conversation about, “Hey, I know this is your thing, but I’m thinking I’d like to do the same thing. Are we cool?”  My answer would have been 100% yes.  It’s the sneaky crappy way it was handled that chapped me enough to say FINISH!!! (inside joke).  Other than a smattering of unfollows, I love my community noisy, busy and full of color!  So bring on the tweets!

WHEW!!

If you’re still with me after this verbose ignivomous monstrosity, thanks for reading.  No really, thank you!  Hopefully I entertained you a bit or distracted you.  Oohh…shiny ball!

The point of all these letters and squiggles is to make you think by asking you one question comprised of 22 words: Do you follow to increase your count or do you follow because the individual you are following adds value to your Twitstream?

Until next time, chew on that!  I’m out.

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Every day I find more and more influence graders online.  The basis for these false metrics are number of followers or friends, number of tweets, retweets and links.  All of these things are arbitrary and do not speak in any way to the impact we have on other people’s lives.

Have you ever wondered about the people whose lives you impact daily simply by being online and having conversations?

You don’t have to be a “person of influence” to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me.

- Scott Adams

So tell me, what is “real”

Many times I have seen social networking minimized, put in a sad little box called “much ado about nothing”.  People who think they know and understand, comment that online relationships aren’t real; that there is something wrong with those who connect and form so-called friendships online.  Let me assure you if you are questioning online relationships – they are very real, very tangible and for many of us,  very important.   There is nothing fake or virtual about online friends and I believe it is an insult to put “online friends” in a different category from “real friends”.

What is a real friend? Does a real friend share life experiences?  We do that online.  Does a real friend comfort you, celebrate with you, cry with you?  We do that online too.  Do you have to be in the same physical space to be a real friend? If so, cross off all those friends of yours who live across the state, on a different coast or in a different country.  In fact, cross off all those “phone friends” too – you know the ones you haven’t seen in months or years but still live across town from you but you never seem to make time to visit them in person.

Outside of the people you interact with every day online, do you think about those you don’t talk to, those who are reading your words, those engaged by your lifestream?  Do you realize that you impact their lives too? 

It all depends on what IS is…

There are people I follow, people whose blogs I visit, whose lives and commentary are priceless to me.  I feel for them.  I am engaged in their very existence in the world.  If I don’t see them online or read something from them with the same frequency I’m used to seeing things from them, I wonder.  If enough time goes by, I worry.  Online people are pretty habitual in the frequency of their interactions. Even when life gets busy, you know this.  I have lost friends who I have only known online.  It has been  no less emotional, no less tragic, and I grieved no less than I do for what some call my “real friends” because my connections are just as deep and just as real. I don’t let distance get in the way of my emotional attachment to others.  Love and friendship know no bounds in my life.

I didn’t think too much about how I might influence or impact others until recently when I was told that my presence would be missed if I went offline.  This caught me off guard because I don’t see my life as particularly interesting to anyone but me, or my words so powerful as to impact others.  Clearly I was wrong – not because I am some sort of superstar, but because we ALL impact people when we interact online.

You never know who is reading your blog, your tweets, or viewing your photostream.  You never know when something you say online reaches into the heart of someone in a bad place and lifts them up.  You never know when your words alter someone’s path, give them hope, give them inspiration or give them the kick they need to act rather than react.  Each of us does this whether we realize it or not.

I am thankful for the people who influence me daily.  I haven’t thanked them…yet.  But I have decided that those who touch my life, who inspire me, who lift me up will know about it whether I interact with them or merely watch them from the sidelines.  I will find opportunities to tell them, to thank them, to let them know they have reached into my life and made me a better person.

Who can you thank today for their influence in your life?

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In late July we’re headed to PA for what we hope is the first of many geek festivals.  G33kapalooza will be held July 24-26, hosted by none other than @lwcavallucci (also known as my sistah from another mother) and @chriscavallucci.  Coming in for the event is another very special geek gal whom I have come to love and respect, @gloriabell.  We’re excited to have the opportunity to commune for a geekified weekend with good friends.

UI/UXers are an awesome group of folks who truly invest in the community.  James and I have truly grown as a result of the networking we have done over the past few months.  It has been exceptional for me because the women I have met are the most honest, authentic and supportive professional women I have encountered in my various career iterations.   So while it is awesome that a number of us are all getting together, I must admit that I am completely and utterly excited to have a Geek Girl Power Summit with Lori & Gloria.   The respect and admiration I have for these two knows no bounds.  I look forward to having the chance to further solidify our personal and professional connections.

Let the wild rumpus start: No dates present

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It’s called Social Networking

 
I know a lot of people don’t get it.  They don’t get the Web. They don’t get the blogosphere.  And most especially, they don’t get Twitter.  Numerous people in my so-called “real” life have been led to believe that I lost the last bit of sanity I possessed because I dared to espouse the virtues and wonders of Twitter.

I gave up trying to explain about the power of the Internet, how to connect with people online, how screen names and pixels become part of ”real” life to those who think I’m crazy for living such a “connected” life.  In all honesty, if it seems completely bizarre to you, there’s probably nothing I can say that will change your mind.  If you can’t fathom how people can become friends, intertwine their lives, fall in love, grow businesses, extend their social circles through their online activity, it is highly unlikely that I can alter your way of thinking.  You won’t think the crammed inboxes of my 15 email accounts, 20 domains, handful of blogs and participation in various social networks are cool things.  You’ll likely be concerned and you’ll probably ask me why I can’t disconnect and encourage me to spend more time “in the real world”.  Even in the rarified IT atmosphere in which I move during daylight hours my peers view me as one of “THOSE” people.  You know who “THOSE” people are, right?

Ah, right.  That would be me.  Make no mistake: I am proud to be one of “THOSE” people.

You’re going to do what?

 
John Cachero, a Hampton Roads-based photographer who shoots weddings, portraits and special events all over Virginia, is one of “THOSE” people too. Thankfully.  At some point in the past couple of months, John jumped into a conversation HG and I were having with Ty about doing a Tweet Up somewhere between here and his neck of the woods out at the beach.  John is a photographer, and a bit of a geeky one at that, so he fit right in with the often frenetic exchange of quips and quotes.

A few weeks back John mentioned something about a photowalk.  It sounded like a good idea because I have this awesome Canon 30D that I don’t use nearly enough.  He initially thought June, but then came back with a date in early May.  So some rather inert bit of commentary about a Tweet Up was turning into an invitation to come out to Portsmouth on May 3 to go on a photo walk.  Coolness.

HG and I were like little kids on Christmas Eve.  We really didn’t want anyone to know how completely geeked out we were about this.  It seemed a bit…um…desperate I guess.  We didn’t want anyone to know how completely dorky we were so we kept our excitement quiet.  We especially kept it quiet from those non-Web anti-Twitter people. They would have had us committed for driving 2 hours to meet up with people we didn’t “know”.

Let me just say – it was fabulous. John is an incredible host and everyone who attended was great! We walked around Olde Towne until the downpour came.  Then thanks to HG and Ty, we were able to stand on some random Olde Towner’s porch until there was a break in the rain.  We scrambled back to the Bier Garden to commence an early breaking of bread.

My point in all this is that Twitter is a SOCIAL network.  If you don’t use the social part of it, you’re missing out.  We have made some awesome new friends because we were willing to invest in a single afternoon beyond what we do online.

Although we had some non-Tweeps in our group, the list of tweeps in attendance is below. If I left someone out, please let me know. I will update the list and add you!

@johncachero
@sourapplemedia
@djweso
@dolceshan
@iamtiff
@ericfadden
@shuttergirl
@LlamaKid
@SaMi_Am
@FreakMike
@iso757
@ciophoto
@youngck
@kristy10
@g33kguy
@g33kgurrl

The shared gallery from the #HRVA Olde Towne Portsmouth Photo Walk is viewable on Flickr.

Tomorrow HG and I are on our way to DC to attend RedUX DC.  We will be meeting up with @sourapplemedia, @lwcavallucci and @chriscavallucci.

Social. Networking. You should try it.

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