From: The Boss
Subject: Cecil B. Swingline
To: D. Messwith McStapler EsquireFYI. In need of some stapler-napping assistance.
From: D. Messwith McStapler Esquire
To: The Staff, The Building Manager, The HR Manager
cc: The BossTo whom it may concern:
We are aware of your staple-napping and are not impressed at your attempts to mask this haneous crime with delusions of “liberation”. This organization and it’s client – The Boss – will not respond to any demands from such clear terrorist organizations such as your own. Your obviously photoshopped images will not serve as the proof of life that we require before responding further. Return said swingline with due haste or deal with our most devastating wrath.
With Disgust,
D. Messwith McStapler Esquire
The Law Offices of Give Me a Break, You’ve gotta be kidding me, and Sons
1234 WTF Place
The City, And State
There was question as to the competence of said attorney however, based soley on his inability to use spell check.
Warnings to the Staff is the fourth installment in the Cecil B. Swingline Chronicles. The stories recounted are true. The names have been changed to protect the guilty…and the innocent.
