A number of emails flew after The Boss’ admission that his beloved stapler was missing. Multiple attempts to make light of the situation were not well received. It was very clear that The Boss was less than pleased with the disappearance of his favorite office supply.
Not too long after we received the email from The Boss about his missing stapler, a rather curious email appeared in everyone’s inbox.
From: cecilbswingline
To: The Boss, The Staff, The Building Manager, The HR Manager
Subject: Cecil B. SwinglineCecil B. Swingline
123 Freedom RdThe Boss
The Office AddressDear The Boss,
I would like to thank you for liberating me from the shelves of that dirty warehouse where I was wrongly imprisoned for so long. I have no words to express how I felt when you purchased me and I greatly appreciate that you picked me over all the other red Swingline staplers.After arriving you promptly ensured that I was unharmed and even showed me off to your underlings. I felt so proud to be your Swingline stapler and knew that we had begun a wonderful relationship together. Little did I know how wrong I was.
I awoke the next day and you were not here, nobody was. What kind of person just leaves their prized stapler behind? Well I will tell you, a person that really doesn’t care about their stapler! Since I am obviously just a possession to you I will be exploring the office and beyond to see if there is more out there than just your office.
Sincerely,
Cecil B. Swingline
The stapler had a name! Who would have ever thought this! He not only had a name, he had feelings too!! Everyone stared in shock at the picture of Cecil on the exercise balls in our gym at the office! Could it be true? Did Cecil feel slighted? Shunned? Was he emotional handicapped due abandonment and rejection from The Boss? Would he require therapy? Would he need an intervention?
Cecil B. Swingline is the second installment in the Cecil B. Swingline Chronicles. The stories recounted are true. The names have been changed to protect the guilty…and the innocent.
